Go ahead and scream racism you f*&cking Pinheads.

Okay, It’s not really much of a manifesto. We(yea, we’re adopting the royal “WE”, cuts down on the feeling of personal culpability WHEN something stupid is inevitably said) just re-read our last post and realized we have an affinity for repeating ourselves.

But Oh well:

WORLD  BASEBALL  CLASSIC :

If you aren’t watchin this then FUCK YOU.

So far we have seen:

The Dominican Republic and Carlos Marmol get kickf*&cked right out of the tournament by The Dutch.

That’s right, a lineup consisting of this:

Arredondo, Jose 66
Cueto, Johnny 46
Jimenez, Ubaldo 38
Manon, Julio 20
Marmol, Carlos 49
Marte, Damaso 43
Martinez, Pedro 45
Pena, Tony 58
Perez, Odalis 57
Perez, Rafael 53
Tavarez, Julian 51
Viola, Pedro 44
Volquez, Edinson

CATCHERS
Brito, Juan 25
Castillo, Alberto 33
Olivo, Miguel 21

INFIELDERS
Aybar, Willy 16
Cano, Robinson 24
Ortiz, David 34
Ramirez, Hanley 2
Reyes, Jose 7
Tatis, Fernando 14
Tejada, Miguel 10

OUTFIELDERS
Alou, Moises 18
Bautista, Jose 23
Cruz, Nelson 15
Guillen, Jose 11
Taveras, Willy

were sent packing by this.

Check the birth-dates on the major league affiliated players.

At one point during the Puerto Rico/Netherlands game a 19 year old Red’s prospect, who had never pitched above the high school level, struck out Ivan Rodriguez and induced Carlos Beltran into a weak ground out to first, working his way out of a bases loaded jam and preserving the lead.

His catcher was a twenty-one year old Double AA ball player.

YU DARVISH made eighteen game winner for Boston, Daisuke Matsuzaka, look unpolished, nervous, and overall extraneous as he showed that tossing a shitload of junk amidst some gems isn’t dominance. Everything hurts in a hurricane Daisuke. Even alliteration.

Not that that really illustrated the point( see–make a muddled metaphor, go ahead and cling to the cliche, alliteration-an inside look at the mind of a tipsy hack)

Chipper Jones and his N.L. batting title pull an oblique muscle(now reported to be healthy enough to play in RD. 2) Don’t do these things major league stars. If anything is going to kill this tournament it’s going to be injuries/poor seasons from Big Money players.

Canada eliminated.

Joey Votto looked spectacular though. Cinci fans have a reason to go to their beautiful park.

Puerto Rico is the anti-island of misfit toys for catchers. Here is their depth chart:

Ivan Rodriguez

Yadier Molina

Geovany Soto

AND they have been using a DH in their pool, so guess who has been filling in? Numbers one and three(Eat a D**ck number two…..guess what team he plays for?)

We’re not a fan.

Puerto Rico is 3-0 and 6-0 in overall WBC first round play.

CHINA A baseball program built from the ground up by American Ex-pat’s(Jim Lefebvre, Terry Collins) China may be gone from the tourney after a loss to Korea, but it boasts very few MLB players, the only notable I can name from watching is Ray Chang, their shortstop who played well despite their losses, and is an American born player from Kansas City. The growing Chinese baseball program is just one among the many reasons that this tournament IS IMPORTANT, especially considering the lack of Olympic support for the sport.

SOMEONE needs to throw their support behind this tournament. Someone with a national audience and the credentials/passion/eloquence to make people understand that for  FIVE FUCKING OUTS of an “EXHIBITION” game 19 year old Juan Carlos Sulbaran(he doesn’t have a  pro stats link, not fucking one) pitched his brains out against the stacked P.R. team. It was so goddamn electrifying. Watch the replay you nay-saying pissants.

Henry Blanco finally Cubs related, hit an 0-1 fastball into the seats to give Venezuela their eventual 5-3 lead over the USA today. Who’d Hank White own? Ted Fuckin Lilly.

Lilly went four, giving up that one run. Ted being Ted.

I know, this blog was weak with factual information, but we promise daily blogging and pertinent, Cub related information from here on out.(Okay, maybe once S.T. is over)

Today was the first Cub day off since the beginning of spring training. Someone goes tomorrow against someone. Oh, shit, I just remembered, it’s the CUBS VS. THE JAPANESE NATIONAL TEAM.

AWKWARD?

You kind of have to look past the “awesome” copyright anti-infringement measure…

But I understand. It’s cool ….

And for the rest of you villagers–put down those torches and pitchforks.

I know we lost four to two to that blabber-mouth D*&ck and his pet.

It’s Okay

It’s only Spring Training. 

But today did have a bit of that, I don’t know–”Catch the F*&cking ball!” after-taste.

Did it not?

I mean, Dempster may not have walked  7/9ths of the roster( only one), but it does give you that same eerie feeling creeping up the back of your spine, No?

I realize I’m mixing games one and two of last October’s post-season meltdown together for my own narrow purpose but…

Come on!

HITTING

Ryan Theriot –You may have gone two for three today, but all you really did was play into your critics hands. The rest of your line read a bunch of sh*&tty zero’s, meaning your two hollow singles and .600 average didn’t make up for the two(fielding, throwing) errors and being the absolute reason the Cubs lost today.

But it’s cool…

I am not an Anti-Theriotite, just disappointed that today’s L in the loss column speaks more loudly than the actual facts( That Cubs hitting and pitching, all major factors in the past, put. them. in. place. for the win).

On the bright side — Aaron Miles grounded into two double plays today. So that means we can finally all go back to liking this guy.

Whew…

Mike Fontenot — Some people may think–”Oh, that is so cute! He thinks he’s a third baseman honey.”

But not me.

Mike went two for three today, both doubles, and scored one of the Cubs two runs. He is hitting .417(five for twelve, with four of those being extra base hits) this spring.

Reed Johnson –You Son of a Bitch! You went one for three and PUT. THAT. SHIT. DOWN. in center..until Fuld came in to pinch run ?

Jake Fox — I am so sorry Jake( error 1, fielding), but you did get a hit in three at bats. You even scored a run!

AND……..THAT’S IT?

Cub bat’s were pretty quiet against Peavy, with whipping boy Theriot registering the only hit in his three innings. It’s a disappointing outcome to be sure, but not a reason for this because…

PITCHING

Although the box score may not read it, Dempster actually pitched well. He may have faced a total of seven batters in the first inning, but his overall line was two hits with one walk and a K. Sooo–ledgies may be dropping like flies right now, but at least so did Padres hitters when facing…

ALSO PITCHED:

Chad Fox — The man with the oldest arm on the planet pitched a scoreless inning today, giving up a hit with no walks and a K.

Mike Stanton — Just plain old f*&cking old. Goddamn Pinella?  Stanton pitched a perfect inning– and then the sun came up. Ha!

Justin Berg — gave up the only earned run in the game. Some have called this move the “Gutenburg.”

Rocky Roquet– a hit a walk and no runs. Has never heard of “The Gutenburg.”

Kevin Hart — no hit and no walks with a K in one. Hart has bounced back and forth between the Major and Minor leagues the past year or so. Hart could be in the pen, but then again could not. Meh.

Marcos Mateo — His second(or third?) spring training appearance, he closed out the ninth with a perfect inning and a K. Who the F*&ck knows anymore?

With so many pitchers showing up in such a short time you can’t really get a good bead on who is doing what for now and what for the long run yet.

CORRECTIONS:

WBC– The Cubs are actually sending seven players to the classic this year: Lilly(USA), Fukudome(Japan). Marmol(Dominican Republic), Alex Maestri( Italy..and he’s actually Italian!), Soto(Puerto Rico)  Koskie(Canada), and Vince Perkins( Also Canada).

The WBC begins Thursday March Fifth in Tokyo, Japan with a matchup between Japan and China. Game time is 4:30 am eastern standard on ESPN2 and ESPN deportes. Cub Fans will finally get their first good look at Kosuke this spring, so tune in.  The MLB NETWORK will be carrying sixteen games over the course of the classic including, I would imagine, the finals to be played at Dodger Stadium.

The Cubs host the D-ba(gs)cks( are you kidding…are you really going to make it that easy Arizona?) at Ho Ho Kam tomorrow. On the mound in the first is….

CARLOS ZAMBRANO!

Making his first start this spring.

First pitch is at 2:05 Central Standard Time.

Cub prosperity has hit even the hardest working Sox Fans

“What’s it been like, a hundred years?”

“Say hi to Bartman for me”

“Joe Crede is waaayyy better than Ramirez.”

“..yea, if you mean by greatest fans a bunch of beer drinking fratboy yuppies who don’t even know the score to the game”

“CUBs S*&CK”

These are just a few of the inane, biased, and trite things you’ll hear come out of a Sox fans mouth when one even begins to screw up their lips and begin to breathe the dreaded C word.

Oh, forgot this one.

“Yea, if  by that you mean the “attendance world series.”

Which is a personal favorite of mine. Now I’m not saying all Sox fans are dumb and that all Cub fans actually watch the game–I’ve actually heard some pretty funny things come out of Sox fans mouths in regards to the Cubs.

But that isn’t what I’m about here(and I’m just way too tired to reach my usual level of mediocrity)

Aaron Heilman takes the ball today in his first action as a Cub since coming over from the Mariners. Heilman was the main piece in what is quickly becoming known as “The ANTI-LOU BROCK” Cedeno trade. I’m not even going to take the time out here to make a Cedeno joke, I’m just going to say that Cedeno will probably see about as much playing time as a Mariner as Heilman did( Aaron was traded from the Mets to the Mariners earlier in the off season). Heilman is involved in one of the few position battles in camp this spring, hoping to claim the fifth spot in the rotation as his own, but if he continues  to pitch as he has historically, it ain’t happening. But who knows–he could surprise. Word is out that he has great stuff,  to go along with decent command, but lacks the ability to be consistent. Some say he has an over-abundance of the “Marquis Factor”.

Yikes.

Things to watch for:

The coast being clear –so Lilly, Dempster, and Fontenot can let the air out of Ozzie’s tires.

See what I’m saying? I’m off my game.

PITCHING

Wherefore art thou Kevin Gregg?

Seriously, where the f*&ck is he?

We’ve yet to see action from the biggest off season pen acquisition, while guys like Mike Stanton and Ed Campusano are getting back to back game time. When Gregg was acquired the Cubs put the nail in the coffin of Kerry Wood’s northside career, to many a fans dismay(This Fan’s). So why haven’t we seen him? look for Gregg and fellow closer candidate Marmol to get alot of early inning time so they can face quality hitters in this farce known as “the closer competition”

It’s Day 4 of the Cotts Watch...and so far the coast is clear(see, I made it work this time)

Cotts has yet to see the mound in a spring training game, and to be honest, that’s fine by me. He’s a serviceable bullpen arm, and has the added plus of being a lefty, but nothing about Cotts says dominant or consistent. He’ll probably break camp with the team, but so what?

Things will probably be status-quo until first round of cuts start creeping up, so news in this section could slow down a bit as we see more guys more often.

HITTING

Micah Hoffpauir

Micah Hoffpauir

Micah Hoffpauir

Will he continue to tear the cover off the ball? And will a majority of those hits come later in the game against minor league pitchers that we already know he can hit.

Milton Bradley is out for the weekend with flu like symptoms. This may seem like the beginning of the end for some, but Bradley has only one at bat so far in spring training and what did he do? He drew a walk. I know that isn’t flashy to you, but it’s something the Cubs have struggled with as early as before last season.

FUUKKUUDDOOMMEE!!! I completely forgot about him. I’ll scour the net and get back to you with updates from Fukudome’s performance in the Japanese camp.

Luis Rivas He’s hitting .426 and he just might be ready to shed those Scales(ha, get it, Like Bobby Scales?)

Mike Fontenot –I believe Fontenot only got about twenty-one at bats last year against lefties, so look for how often and well he hits against southpaws this spring. Could be indicative of the amount of playing time he and Miles share at second.

Corey Koskie– Former Twins, Blue-Jays, and Brewers thrid basemen has signed a minor league contract. He will report to Mesa after taking part in the World Basebell Classic as a member of Team Canada. Koskie is a career third basemen with a lifetime average of .275 and some pop from the left side of the plate. Problem is he hasn’t seen the field since 2006 and at this point could be a less attractive alternative than Rivas.

First Pitch is at 2:05 central time.

Any MLB network customers out there should be sure to tune in March Tenth as the Cubs are going to be featured on the networks “Thirty Clubs in Thirty Days” program.

What is he made of–anti-diamond?(which is the opposite of diamond, and by my logic that should mean extremely brittle)

Ok, that’s a stretch–but he was pulled(by himself) from today’s game after feeling tightness in his quad during his first at bat.

A game that we won I might add.

Beating the Brewers 7-4 at Ho Ho Kam

THE HILL

Sean Marshall started the game and made a mild case for being the fifth starter, allowing (he’s a giver) the Brewers to collect four hits and a run while striking out one. Probably with that huge curve lefty’s like to toss. If you listen closely you can hear Aaron Heilman weeping softly into his pillow.

Chad Gaudin Another piece of the Harden trade(I do like to mention that don’t I?), followed by pitching two innings of his own and gave up(he’s not generous, just mediocre) three hits, a run, with a walk and a strikeout. I know he used to start for Oakland but I prefer to see him in the pen, or at AAA Iowa starting in case his buddy from the A’s(see..again) Harden goes down sometime this season.

ALSO PITCHED:

Carlos Marmol–a hit and a run in one. I think that one was a bomb. Yea, don’t do that Carlos.

Mike Stanton —  a hit a walk and a run with two k’s in one. He’s also about as old as this guy.

Kevin Hart — pitched a perfect inning. Eight more and you might be impressive. Probably starts in Iowa.

Chad Fox — No hits or runs with a strikeout in one. This is that old guy who’s arm keeps falling off.

Angel Guzman — A hit and no runs in the ninth. Way to go Angel. I mean it isn’t that bad that you’re nearly the same age as this fellow Venezuelan.

Overall nothing too spectacular. Most of these guys either have a defined role or are pitching for a spot in the pen. Most likely to make the Big Club: Gaudin, Hart, Marmol(of course). Most likely to die on field: Stanton. Guzman is out of options I believe, so for him to avoid going the way of the Oriole he better pick it up.

AT BAT

The Cubs up their total runs today to twelve(7-4) led by a Fox and a Hare(Gathright, because he jumps high…get it? Ehhh). Jake Fox, who started at first, hit a three run shot in the third and Gathright led off going three for three with one stolen base and one caught stealing.

Aaron Miles — started at second and went one for four with an rbi. Good for you Aaron, now go sit on the bench and let Fontenot have a turn.

Richie Robnett –went one for two with an rbi. Not a chance he makes the roster but at least we got something for Wuertz. He played right.

Micah Hoffpauir–one for four while starting in left. Why do you insist on trying to play positions manned by heavily bloated contracts Micah? Why?

Jake Fox –two for three with a fucking BOMMMB. Played first…badly.

Dwayne Barney – a hit and a run scored while playing short. In five at bats though Dwayne? Will definitely be in the minors by mid march.

Chad Gaudin –a double in his only at bat. Known to  tell friends he wants to be the “New Jason Marquis” Those friends have since been traded to Colorado.

It’s alway nice to beat up on the Brewers, especially against their supposed can’t miss Gallardo.

Nothing too earth shattering came from today’s game. Fox played well, but considering his age and defensive limitations, he just isn’t likely to beat out Hoffpauir. He would be a welcome backup for third , and in case of emergency backup catcher, but I just don’t see it happening unless he really turns it on. Joey Gathright had a good game, but until he can keep it up on a daily basis I’m not buying it. His speed would be a plus on a team led by a guy who was caught thirteen(or seventeen) times last year. STOP RUNNING RYAN.

The Cubs are in Surprise tomorrow to take on the Rangers. Game starts at 2:05 Central and can be listened to on WGN 720 am.

I was going to make a Prince Fielder is fat joke here but I already blew that load on Sabathia.

This is what the Brewers did.

The Cubs got on the scoreboard with a rbi groundout by Ronny Cedeno. The ball was hit slow enough to third base that Reed Johnson was able to score as he took off on contact. The throw was never made to home as the Pirates third basemen elected to just get an out at first. On the very next pitch, Henry Blanco laid down a squeez bunt and Mark DeRosa scored without any troubles.

Jason Marquis pitched seven shutout innings and did not allow a walk as he earned his ninth victory of the season. Marquis was awesome and kept the Pirates guessing all afternoon long. Once again it was Carlos Marmol pitching in the eighth inning and Kerry Wood finishing things off in the ninth as the Cubs went on to win.

Cubs Baseball Blog

Big Z pitched seven strong innings to get the victory and improve to 13-5 on the season. Z gave up six hits and the one run which came on a solo home run. Zambrano struckout four batters but was also a little wild as he walked four others. he clearly showed his emotion out on the mound today and luckily it didn’t come back to hurt him. Big Z also hit his fourth home run of the season as he went deep in the third inning.

Carlos Marmol gave up a solo home run to Joey Votto in the eighth inning and then Kerry Wood closed the door in the ninth to record his 26th save of the season.

Besides Zambrano’s solo home run, Mark DeRosa stayed hot with a solo home run of his own in the second inning. The Cubs also scored a run in the first inning when Derrek Lee grounded into a douple play. It seems that Lee can’t hit the ball out of the park but sure can ground into the dp’s!

Cubs Baseball

Ted Lilly didn’t have his best stuff as he was charged with four runs but it was good enough to get the win and improve to 12-6 on the year. Bob Howy had some trouble as he allowed a three run home run that got the Braves back within four runs. Carlos Marmol and Kerry Wood then finished up the Braves in the final two innings.

Aramis Ramirez hit a three run home run to lead the Cubbies at the plate with three rbi. Alfonso Soriano added a two run shot of his own as well. Geovany Soto had another great game at the plate as he had three walks and two rbi. Mark DeRosa, Reed Johnson, Daryle Ward, and Ryan Theriot all had one rbi each as well.

The Cubbies will try to make it nine in a row on the road Friday night as they take on the Florida Marlins. Big Z will be taking the mound for the Cubs.

Cubs Baseball Blog

Right now I’ll just give you a short recap of game one of the double header against the Braves.  The Cubs bats were swinging and knocking in runs as they crushed the Braves 10-2.  Jason Marquis tossed 5 1/3 innings to pick up the win.  Marquis didn’t pitch too badly as he gave up six hits and two runs, but his pitch count really got up there and that is why he only lasted a little over five innings.  Marquis had to work out of jams quite a few times and that is why the pitchcount was so high.

Neal Cotts, Jeff Samardzija, and Bob Howry all seen action out of the bullpen.  All three pitched great and allowed the team to save Kerry Wood and Carlos Marmol for the second game which will kick off at 6 p.m. central time.

Geovany Soto led the offense by going 3-4 with four rbi.  Soto had a two run double in the second inning and then added a two run home run in the ninth inning.  I would expect to see Soto sit out the second game and Henry Blanco to get the start.  Jim Edmonds also had a good game at the plate as he had three rbi in the game.  Aramis Ramirez, Mark DeRosa, and Ryan Theriot all added one rbi each as well.

Let’s go get game two and hopefully see a Brewers loss later tonight. GO CUBS!

Cubs Baseball

Giants ace, Tim Lincecum, kept Cub’s bats at bay as the Giants prevented the sweep with a 4-2 victory over the Cubs on Sunday afternoon.  Lincecum showed again why he is on the NL All-Star team and a CY Young candidate.  Lincecum threw 8 innings giving up 1 run on 6 hits.  He added to his league leading total of strikeouts by whiffing 9 Cub’s batters. 

The Giants started their scoring in the 3^rd inning when Lincecum helped his own cause by tripling in Omar Vizquel for the game’s first run.  A two out single from Ray Durham would give the Giants 2 more runs in the inning and a 3-0 lead.

The Cubs would plate a run in the 4^th inning on a double from the hot-hitting Cub’s centerfielder Jim Edmonds.  He has proven to be a very valuable and low-risk midseason pickup for Jim Hendry.  The Cubs needed another left-handed batter in their lineup and Edmonds has proved very serviceable.   

The Giants would take a 4-1 lead to the 9^th inning after an RBI triple from Fred Lewis.   The Giants then went to closer Brian Wilson for a chance at a league leading 25^th save.  Edmonds would walk and score leaving a pinch hit chance for Geovany Soto with one out and two on.  Representing the tying run, Soto struck out on a called third strike.  Cub’s shortstop Ryan Theriot, who had extended his hitting streak to ten games earlier, ground out to in the game.   Ryan Dempster was credited with his first loss at home this year giving up four earned runs, seven hits, and striking out six.  Dempster now falls to 10-4 on the season.

Special Notes:  Cub’s reliever, Carlos Marmol, will replace Cub’s closer Kerry Wood in the All-Star game due to a minor blister that Kerry wants to give a chance to heal. 

Cub’s fans got exactly what they expected out of newly acquired pitcher, Rich Harden, but it would take an 11^th inning RBI single from Reed Johnson to secure the Cubs second straight victory.  Harden was effective through 5 1/3^rd innings giving up five hits while striking out ten batters and giving up no runs.  It was the third time in his career that Harden had double-digit strikeout totals and the second this year.  He would leave to a standing ovation in the 5^th inning with a smile on his face that was shared throughout the electric crowd on hand at Wrigley. 

The Cubs would give Harden plenty of run support early led by Jim Edmonds 2-run homer in the 3^rd and then a two-run double in the 4^th.  He would finish the day 2-4 with four RBI’s and 2 runs.  The Cubs would then take a 7-0 lead into the 8^th inning before Giant’s catcher, Bengie Molina, doubled in Ray Durham for the Giant’s first run.  They would score once more to make it 7-2 heading into the 9^th inning. 

In the 9^th, with a five run lead, Lou Piniella gave the ball to Carlos Marmol, who has struggled of late.  After a lead-off double to Giant’s shortstop, Ivan Ochoa, things would begin to unravel for Marmol.  After another single and two Cub’s misplays in the infield, the game was quickly tied 7-7.  Cub’s closer, Kerry Wood was unavailable in the game due to a blister so Lou went with Sean Marshall in the 10^th.  Marshall pitched two solid innings before leading off with a single in the 11^th.  Then, with Mark DeRosa at 2^nd and Mike Fontenot at 1^st, Reed Johnson hit a one out, game-winning single which scored Derosa on a very close call at home plate. 

Expect the presence of broomsticks in Wrigley for the series closer Sunday afternoon as the Cubs look for the sweep.  They will be facing Giant’s ace and All-Star, Tim Lincecum (10-2), who has looked like a Cy Young winner despite pitching for a team below .500.  The Cubs will bring Ryan Dempster to mound who has yet to lose in Wrigley Field this season.

Special Note….  Cubs shortstop, Ryan Theriot, went 3-4 on Saturday extending his hitting streak to nine games and upping his batting average to .322 on the year.